thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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