Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We got so high we made milksteak
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
