SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
