I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
