Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
