glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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