I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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