It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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