Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize