dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
