What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
