You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
