If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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