he shaved USA in his pubs
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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