Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
