I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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