Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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