have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
