I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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