Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
