I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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