I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize