I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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