Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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