I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
