My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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