things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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