I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
