SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize