Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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