i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
