Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
