Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
