Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
