You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
