I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
