I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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