I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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