In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
