At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
