She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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