So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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