I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
