He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize