Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
