You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
