I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
