do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
