i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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