I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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