I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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