How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
