It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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