So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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