I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
