Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
this will be a night to untag.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
