You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
