That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
