So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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