this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
