i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think people are normalizing furries
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
