FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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