mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
