Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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