"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
